Appointed. Designated. Chosen.

In Genesis, the creation of man was good, if God does say so Himself. Yet, as Adam was serving in the work God gave Him, God saw it was not good for Adam to be alone. He needed something, a help meet, in the form of someone, woman. See, God made no mistake in the order of creation, and being intentional about all things as we know God to be, He used Adam and Eve to portray the first and best example of man cleaving to woman. 

Many lessons can be taken from when God created Eve and took her by the hand to Adam, in Genesis 2, but three left a lasting impression:

One, a Godly man will trust that what God is bringing to him is the best for him. God literally orchestrated it all, Adam being fast asleep for it all. Adam being the standard of man, could have just been given another man to help him out. But the problem would not have been solved. It would just mean two men now needed help meets. There is something so intentional about God creating woman that makes it certain man and woman alone are the standard for marriage. Once God brought Eve to him, with contentment and without question, he took Eve as his own flesh and they were not ashamed. Two, God does not intend for man to seek their help meet in vain. He is the One that saw the need from the start and knew the solution the need required. That feeling of wanting to be married to a Godly woman is not wrong, in fact, it may just be telling you a rib is missing and in need of its proper placement in your life. The God who saw the need, will provide a suited solution. And three, God has created you with all you require to excel and be fulfilled in marriage. Adam was good on his own, once God was finished with Him. He was obedient, hardworking, intelligent, beautiful and had a relationship with God, too. He just needed help. He could not have pushed God’s agenda of an earth filled with His children, without Eve.

Now, there are so many examples of men who actually went out, like Jacob, to seek and find the right woman for them, with the direction of God. From these men, there are so many lessons to take or avoid from their approaches in seeking out their help meet. 

Marrying as God intended depicts His love for the Church, and is much bigger than the two who become one flesh. That is why there is a way to seek right and find the right help meet: God’s way!

Below are a few ways to rightly seek the help meet God has for you!

Allow God to take the lead, not yourself by knowing Him for who He is. 

Read your Bible DAILY. Build Godly character that you can someday pass on to your home and generations. Fast and Pray, often and always. Becoming a husband is not all fun and laughs. Often, to maintain peace in the marriage, wisdom and compromise will be required. AND there will be battles that need fighting. A weak and prayerless head, priest and banner will make it too easy for the plans of the enemy to prevail in his home! Trust in God: He has already prepared the way, He is just preparing you!

2. Listen to your father or fathers in faith! –>

In Genesis 28:1-5, Isaac blessed Jacob and advised him to go to a place where he believed God would give Jacob the right woman for him. In verse 5, you can see Jacob’s obedience to his father, which later paid off for him in diverse ways, despite challenges along the way. He highly regarded the words of His father because he saw a role model in him. Jacob saw in Isaac, someone wise and discerning, someone who also obeyed God’s voice and his own father’s guidance in obtaining his wife.

The point here: do not allow just ANYONE to dictate to you where God could be sending you to seek your wife. I know women are also amazing and Godly mentors but there are certain roles in the household and body of Christ that only apply to men. Kingdom man roles. In this case, seeking out a wife and being a Christ-like head and priest of your home. This is where the job of a Holy Spirit filled and Holy Spirit led man must come into play, so he can share with other men the Godly way to fulfill these duties, man-to-man.

Take all advice with a handful (not a pinch) of discernment and with the intent to confirm with God BY YOURSELF, as well. Some advice can unintentionally come from the flesh and not the Spirit, which is why tip #1 is foundational in this whole season.

3. Till the ground of the garden you’ve been placed in! –>

Before God gave Adam a wife, He gave him work to do! Men please hear this: Eve was merely helping Adam in the garden wherever she could and however she wanted to. Adam was created to work this earth! (Genesis 2:5-8; Genesis 2:15) Not to say your wife should be lazy or should not work if you have both agreed on/require that (because that is a huge red flag!) but ‘In The Beginning’ it was never her obligation and still is not. Men MUST be able to provide for their home, women SHOULD be able to. 

Adam had work before he received Eve. God placed the garden and all within in his hands to tend and be creative with. WHAT GARDEN HAVE YOU BEEN PLACED IN? It could be a career, a business, a trade, ministry and much more that brings purpose AND provision into your life. 

The loving thing about God is that He never required you to be the richest man before He leads you to your help meet. Upon reading Proverbs 18:22 and other scriptures, you find that women bring help and favor from the Lord. They multiply your home in more ways than one. Continue to work hard in any work you find in your hands, and when you find that help meet, watch your blessings be multiplied. Follow your passions and immerse yourself in your gifts. These will make room for you, to the point that when you walk into any room you will not have to do much. The gifts God endowed you with are obliged to speak for you, and the room itself will adjust to favor you!

Be creative as well! Being made in the image of God gives us the ability to be creators! He gave us the most powerful and complex tool known in the history of the world, the human brain. All we have to do is use it!

4. Strive to be your most attractive self! –>

Upkeep of a man does not equate to being feminine. It is merely appreciating and choosing not to neglect the thought and care God put into creating you! This means bodily, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and all the rest. 

This could mean something different to everyone! Check out this post for tips on bringing the King in you to the surface!

5. “Godliness with contentment is GREAT gain…” –>

When God brought Eve to Adam, he spoke nothing of the woman’s looks, height, hair color, etc. He spoke with such contentment, assuring the woman that she is now the flesh of his flesh and they were ONE. (Genesis 2:23) 

God knows us in and out, so why would we think He does not know what is best for us and what we like. Many and most times, what is best will not look exactly like what you thought you liked. There is no perfect woman out there, but there is a perfect woman for you. And when you find her, you can not compare her or attempt to change her into what she is not. The way God created her is the way He wanted her, and wanted her for you.

That is not to say physical and personality adjustments can not be made along the line, like the way she speaks to people or the way she may dress, for example. But these should not be make-or-breaks when God has confirmed that she is the help meet he has brought to you. As a husband, your roles is to love her for all she is and make her more ‘Christ-like’ (not “better”. Not like anyone else.) as you draw closer to God as well. Outer beauty will fade, but inner beauty never does. Godliness with contentment will help you appreciate all God has given you and the heart to maintain it all! (1 Timothy 6:6)